Yes, Gregg Wallace is unleashing the hyperbole again, but John Torode’s no longer shouting back. That’s because in this latest off-shoot of the MasterChef hydra (which is apparently soon to sprout a ready-meals franchise) he’s been left behind in his Smithfield restaurant, while a slightly discomfited Michel Roux Jr steps in to hawk it over the working cooks. And you can’t deny Michel’s more subdued, yet still stentorian approach, sprinkles a welcome new flavour over the mix.

"Cooking doesn't get *better* than this!"

Michelin-starred face-pulling

Stalking tonight’s quarter-finalist in the kitchen, he continues Torode’s habit of pulling faces and asking pertinent questions. He’s impressively equipped to do so. The man has held “two Michelin stars since 1991″ (as Gregg has informed the daily intake across this week), and has a laser-like precision when it comes to food criticism. Yesterday he clocked – on sight – one hopeful’s Omelette aux Fine Herbs had been knocked together with a whisk rather than a fork. And he brings a new portent to the word “good” (As in, “the flavours are good”), while becoming positively apocalyptic when tasting Adrian’s crab tortellini: “For me, this is just not on!”.

Gregg, meanwhile, has acquired a sense of seniority in terms of presenting duties (Michel is “the gentleman standing beside me”), but is clearly the junior partner when it comes to dishing out opinion. Nevertheless, our hero is having a brilliant time. “He’s only practiced this dish once, and he was 40 minutes over!” roars the fruit and veg guru in reference to poor old Adrian. “What was he thinking?!”.

To decide which of tonight’s four are on the next rung of their ambition to “climb to the top of their profession and become an inspiration to a generation”, the critics are once again wheeled in to MasterChef HQ. They always make for a satisfying episode, remaining stoically poker faced… until news arrives their umpteenth course is to be five minutes late. At this point a round of pouts breaks out around the table. When Murray then serves up raw scallops, it’s pretty much an international incident. Nonetheless, he makes it through to – er – the finals (I thought tonight was the quarter-finals?), despite his inadvertent sushi dish and transforming a cut of beef into something resembling a birthday cake.

Joining him is Dan, whose addition of brie to a mushroom risotto confounds and then delights Michel. These are punch-the-air moments,

If MasterChef: The Professionals has one drawback – and there is just one – it’s that it has to work especially hard to build up interest in the cooks. While the vanilla-flavoured version of the show tags contestants with epithets such as “busy mum” or “experimental home cook”, and the Celebrity edition can rely on an element of recognition, it’s hard to work up much enthusiasm for a room full of identically clad young blokes, all from similar backgrounds, all sporting impressive knife sets and all indoctrinated in a heads-down kitchen culture. In fact, it’s hard to tell them apart.

But at the end of week one, I guess I’m satisfied I know who Murray and Dan are. And when it comes to the actual cooking on the show – and the whole of the MasterChef canon thus far – cooking really doesn’t get better than this. That’s what it boils down to.

So it’s compliments to the chefs for MasterChef: The Professionals. I find it good.

For immediate release

Monday, 4th February, 2008 

MASTERCHEF FINAL HOTS UP

After six weeks of heats and a week of gruelling semi finals, the 132 contestants have been whittled down to three exceptional finalists.

As the primetime BBC TWO series moves into its final week, judges, John Torode and Gregg Wallace, have the difficult task of deciding which passionate cook will be crowned MasterChef Champion 2008. 

Half-hour programmes will be broadcast at 20.30 on Monday 25th, February and Tuesday 26th, February. Then hour-long programmes will be broadcast at 20.00 on Wednesday 27th, February and the final episode Thursday, February 28th at 20.00.

John and Gregg have seen more than 130 contestants and tasted their culinary creations but for these three finalists the final tasks are more challenging than anything seen on the series before. 

On Monday they must cook for the entire cast and crew members of BBC’s television drama, Waterloo Road. 

Tuesday sees the determined trio fly 12,000 miles to Belize, Central America to prepare meals for the British Army in the sweltering heat and humidity of the jungle. 

In Wednesday’s hour-long episode, the finalists have to become the sole caterers for a luxurious wedding at Blenheim Palace – the responsibility for the most important day in two people’s lives is literally in their hands. 

Then they return to London to cook for the ultimate chef’s table at the Dorchester – seven chefs who between them hold 17 Michelin stars. This includes Michel Roux Sr – The Waterside Inn 3* , Yannick Alléno- Le Meurice 3*, Andrew Fairlie – Andrew Fairlie at Gleneagles 2*, Mark Edwards – Nobu 1* and Nobu Berkeley 1*, Michael Caines – Gidleigh Park 2*, Marcus Wareing – Petrus 2* and Savoy Grill 1*.

Finally on Thursday night, it’s the moment of truth and the ultimate final tests – including working at three of the top 3* Michelin restaurants in France. 

Then they must return to MasterChef Headquarters to prepare a three-course meal for judges, John and Gregg. This must be an exceptional meal that will showcase everything they have learnt on their journey – only one can impress the judges enough to be crowned MasterChef 2008.

However, I’m still not convinced by judge Gregg Wallace. Even though his narrative tag in each episode has been changed to “food writer and ingredients expert”, the man is still essentially a greengrocer. He supplies fruit and vegetables to the catering industry, as was pointed out by the narrator throughout the last series. He is, at face value at least, only different to my local fruiterer in terms of the scale at which he flogs his wares.

How does this make him qualified as to whether a chicken breast cooked in mustard and peppercorns is any good or not? I genuinely don’t get it.

“I love being a chef in a great restaurant,” vouchsafed John Torode across about a million weekday evenings last year, “but it doesn’t get tougher than that.” “Standards are high,” chipped in Gregg Wallace, “and the pressure is immense.” A pair of non-sequiturs, this wasn’t really much of a discussion, more a couple of heavily-set gorillas acting tough for the cameras and talking rubbish.

Masterchef returned to our screens in 2005 in a new form – Masterchef Goes Large. If we were in anyway worried that the inflated vowels and fey predilection for asparagus-hued numbers which characterised Lloyd Grossman’s time on the show were also staging a comeback, John and Gregg’s macho chuntering and the ridiculously intoned commentary (“Masterchef IS GOING LARGE!“) gave that notion a damn good kicking.

In OTT’s review of the year, the show was curtly summed up as being “the art of good cuisine swapped for an obsession with aggressive time-keeping and shouting.” And it’s all true. However, that curt one-liner doesn’t come anywhere near to pinpointing what makes the programme so ludicrously entertaining.

To celebrate the arrival of the second series, John and Gregg have got a new opening spiel, which we viewers have yet to commit to memory (John murmuring something about “one in a thousand”, Gregg still vexed by the pressure issue), but we can rest assured the rest of the shtick remains otherwise unchanged. Gregg’s still being introduced with a different sobriquet each day (along the lines of: “Fruit and vegetable guru”/”Supplier of fruit and veg to London’s most demanding chefs”/”Experienced food expert”) as though he’s in constant renegotiation about his billing. John, meanwhile, attacks every tasting session with his thick, unfurling tongue, and loudly rattles the cutlery off his teeth when he comes back for seconds.

Both men linger moodily in the background, before stepping up to interrogate the show’s onslaught of amateur chefs about the dishes they’re creating. “W-e-l-l, you might just prove me wrong,” teases Gregg after rubbishing a “keen home cook”‘s mash and prawn combo. Come the tasting, the duo don’t appear wholly concerned about what they’re loudly shoving into their faces, giving the impression they’d rather be off paint-balling than consorting with a “marketing whiz” who can do nifty things with pak choi.

The bit they really love is when they get to send people home. The longeurs that fall upon proceedings as John waits to complete his sentence (“You’re … … … going home”) provide the only moments of respite in the whole 30 minutes.

But, you know, cooking is a full-throttle kind of business, evidently best practiced by scowling, tubby men, looking for grub with “guts” and cooks with “determination”. Masterchef Goes Large presents us with the Krypton Factor of all TV kitchens, albeit with Gordon Burns swapped for ones of the flesh variety. Standards are high, and the pressure is immense. We wouldn’t have it any other way.