The series, which returns to ITV1 next month, will once more feature Marco Pierre White (whose debut US show, The Chopping Block, is currently airing in the States) putting a group of celebrities through their paces as he attempts to turn them into chefs in just two weeks.

Claudia says: “I’ve always been a huge fan of Hell’s Kitchen so I’m thrilled to be joining the team. I’m hoping for some tips from Marco as I get confused when making toast.”

In fact I’d heard that ITV2 were about to revive Streetmate, but I don’t know if this actually is it. There’s no mention of it in the credits, but this new series certainly shares some similarities with the old Davina-when-she-was-tolerable-fronted Channel 4 series.

It’s a simple format – each episode features someone looking for love, and Holly and Fearne gallivant across the country trying to find the perfect match. They each choose one person to meet the singleton at – cross-promotion ahoy! - Hell’s Kitchen, and the subject decides which one to have a fully-fledged dinner date with, and which out of Holly and Fearne has “won” that particular encounter.

It’s all harmless fun, of course, with nothing at all distinctive or unique about it – apart from the uniquely awful theme tune, a cover of Sowing the Seeds of Love by, of all people, one Richard Parfitt Jr. Nothing much happens at all, and bizarrely the actual date – surely the whole point of the programme – is virtually chucked away. The singleton decides which of the pair they like the best, we see about 10 seconds of their chit-chat and then we cut to the subject saying, “Yeah, I might see them again” or, “No, they’re not really my type”. And that’s it.

The general point to take from this, though, is that there’s room for three episodes of this on ITV1 this week, yet there’s no room for any new drama whatsoever. Aside from Corrie, Emmerdale and The Bill, there’s no new drama at all, which I find remarkable. 10 or 15 years ago, when the channel was dumping all over the Beeb, it would hardly go one night without a drama at 9pm. Now it’s going a week without any.

Instead we have Hell’s Kitchen seven nights a week. Now this may be one of the top reality shows (though I question why we’re getting a new series two and a half years after the last, and three and a half years since the last good one), but it’s a reality show, and that’s a genre which can be seen on hundreds of other channels from five to Sky One to Living to MTV. Whereas, ITV1 is one of the few channels that can afford and has a reputation in quality drama, and you’d think it would want to emphasise one of the genres it genuinely excels in.

Not surprisingly, every time Hell’s Kitchen has been screened opposite a drama on BBC1, it’s come off second best. Whereas the last time it showed a post-watershed drama, it was a huge success. The facts speak for themselves – if ITV1 are so desperate to pull in the ratings, it should screen drama at 9pm nine times out of 10. Why is this channel continually failing to play to its strengths?

So what’s going on? I think I might have come up with the answer. 

The TV industry’s over the top reaction to the whole furore over scenes in programmes being edited to distort reality has already heralded the demise of the art of the “Noddee” on news programmes (those reaction shots filmed after the event in which interviewers thoughtfully ponder or nod in response to some great point the interviewee has just made). Perhaps this ill advised clean up campaign has spread to reality TV.

The X Factor dropped a scene in the first episode in which Simon Cowell had a staged conversation with a producer over the merits of bringing back Louis Walsh. Strangely enough though, they still keep in those obviously out-of-sequence reaction shots that are used ever more clumsily to elongate the tense bit at the end of an audition.

Perhaps the producers of Hell’s Kitchen are fearful that any attempt to oversell the inadequacies of their 10 celebrity chefs will be greeted with press scoops revealing “Clancy CAN cook Fancy” (that’s Peter Crouch’s girlfriend in case you’re wondering). If that’s the case, then can’t we simply have a disclaimer at the end of each episode admitting some of the scenes are faked, and get back to producing a proper Reality TV show with contrivances and all? You know, the type we enjoy watching.

Also, on an only vaguely related note, it’s just occurred to me that on celeb reality shows, the eviction process only ever starts in the second week – is this because celebs won’t sign up for such projects if they run the risk of expulsion after barely getting themselves on screen?

In time, viewers’ memories of that second series dissipated in much the same way no one can remember ever having watched Shattered. With the odd It Shouldn’t Happen To … type clip show gently keeping the first Gordon Ramsay helmed series in memory, the table was subtly set for a return to the “celebs in a kitchen under one chef” format.

With Ramsay out of the picture, Marco Pierre White was perhaps the only gastronome of sufficient status ITV could approach. Imagine, Anthony Worral Thompson, or Jack Dee look-a-like Heston Blumenfeld helming the show. It just wouldn’t work. White’s casting succeeds because of his pedigree as mentor to the aforementioned Ramsay, but more importantly, because he hasn’t previously sullied his “art” by taking part in something so trivial. He is free to look on the celebrities with the kind of disdain self-proclaimed artists reserve for those in the entertainment industry.

So with a charismatic chef in place, the casting of the kitchen hands took on less importance then they might in, say I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!. Mind you, on paper the 10 they’ve gathered together have the potential to generate some interesting television moments. You sense Brian Dowling’s inclusion is a masterstroke on the part of his agent, giving viewers an opportunity to reconnect with his USP (which is definitely not his ability to present late night phone-in quiz shows). Jim Davidson fulfils the Les Dennis archetype of comedian on the verge of a nervous breakdown, while Anneka Rice and Barry McGuigan should hopefully turn out to be the likeable contestants who you never quite root for.

After the first episode though, it’s difficult to get any sense of where this is going and what it might be. It all began in pretty much the conventional mould, with the 10′s initial attempts at cooking roundly criticised by White. Afterwards, though, that palpable shift through the gears which marked Ramsay’s reign somehow failed to happen. The sense of foreboding before the commencement of the first service was muted, with the evening itself feeling as if there wasn’t very much at stake.

What worked so well in the first series was the impression after the disastrous opening night the celebrities had an almost impossible mountain to climb. It gave the viewer a stake in the programme, and a direction to follow. By comparison, the first service in White’s kitchen concluded with all the dinner guests fed, and clocking up reasonable reviews to boot. So where do we go from here? The journey from pretty competent to excellent dinner service is just not as compelling or classic as the complete against-the-odds victory Ramsay produced with his crew.

With BBC2′s The Restaurant providing some textbook scenes of caterers crashing into oblivion, ITV’s brasher, bigger series is looking a little tame in comparison. It doesn’t really help that White seems pretty much detached from the whole thing. Encouraging the celebrities to cook to impress themselves is bad news – prompting them to internalise their experiences, rather than push themselves for the sake of an inspirational leader and an embattled team.

As Deayton provided his reasonably crafted, but never surprising links from the restaurant itself during tonight’s episode, there was a palpable lack of tension in the action going on around him, suggesting tomorrow’s edition isn’t going to be much more exciting. With the only testosterone on offer at present being that found in the “glands” accompanying the pig trotters, series three of Hell’s Kitchen, from this first serving at least, looks very far away from igniting into the kind of very special reality series cooked up three years ago.

MARCO PIERRE WHITE TO TURN UP THE HEAT IN HELL’S KITCHEN

Britain’s first rock star chef Marco Pierre White will step back into the kitchen for the first time in seven years when he takes over the reigns at TV’s most exclusive restaurant and puts a team of celebrities through their paces.

Hell’s Kitchen is back. And the first ever British chef to achieve three Michelin stars – before handing them back – is in charge. 

Marco, described as the ‘Godfather of British cooking,’ will use his considerable talents to turn a group of celebrities into chefs in just two weeks.

And he is already promising to take no prisoners as he attempts to turn the famous trainees into fully fledged chefs.

Marco is sure to feel the heat as he steps back up to the serving plate and he could employ some of his old school tactics to knock both the trainees and celebrity diners into shape. In the past his legendary temper has resulted in him throwing irritating staff into the bin and dumping customers out on the street.

His bid for perfection may have earned him three Michelin stars but how will he cope in the ultimate celebrity diner? Will the customers go hungry and who will feel the heat and be forced out of the kitchen should the trainee celebrity chefs fail to meet his exacting standards?

“I won’t be thinking of the trainees as celebrities,” says Marco. “What I’ll be looking for is talent. I want to see tears, I want to hear laughter, I want to see people fight and I want to see people learn.

“I might be the hardest person they’ll have ever met but I’ve got a heart just as big. It’s about picking people up off the floor and inspiring them to want to carry on ‘til the end.” 

Head of factual entertainment Richard Cowles said: “Marco Pierre White is a kitchen legend and we are very excited to have coaxed him out of retirement and into Hell’s Kitchen. 

“He is the man responsible for teaching some of the country’s greatest chefs –Gordon Ramsay and Heston Blumenthal both worked in his kitchens. Now a group of celebrities will get the chance to be taught by the original super chef. 

“It’s going to be fascinating to see whether, after seven years away from the kitchen, Marco’s fiery passion still burns bright – I suspect that time hasn’t mellowed him.”

Hell’s Kitchen is an ITV Production. It was commissioned by controller of alternative programmes Layla Smith. The executive producers are Beth Hart and Katie Rawcliffe.