Mind you, I thought new Dragon James Caan was a smooth operator, but all in all is this yet another series that has outlived its shelf life? 

Oh, and while I’m here, the result of The Restaurant was a travesty.

The obvious things, first, then – ITV just shouldn’t go toe-to-toe with the BBC in this fashion. Aluminium-hued shots of the City prompt comparisons to (let’s get it over with now) The Apprentice, but then we get “Tycoon Tower”, a squat, anonymous building on London’s South Bank. Okay, it’s got a “Tycoon” sign outside, but it’s hardly a tower. 

Inside – and here’s the real pisser – nothing at all looks bespoke. This is just a fairly generic working space, hired out for the show. And why does Peter take most of his meetings in the carpark, or the communal coffee-sipping areas with kids loitering in the background? It all just looks so … cheap.

Peter, himself, is a weird sort of TV character. Nothing he says feels spontaneous, particularly in those candid moments it’s just him rattling away to someone off camera. He’s also hugely hung-up on names – his counsel to each of the contestants consisting solely of coming up with new monikers for their products. You can imagine him brainstorming programme titles – “What’s better than being an apprentice. I know, being a tycoon!”

And yet, by the end, I was rather enjoying it. It’s like a lowkey sitcom – and how can you not enjoy Elizabeth “I can move mountains. I CAN move mountains” Hackford, who looks like she’s dropped in direct from a meeting with Simon Harrap at Eyecatchers? Her attempts to get passers-by to name her product. Her pitch for investment money (“That’s not like my product – it’s a concentrate”). Her hackles rising as the Sod girls whirled the klaxon.

Yes, it’s aimless. Yes, it’s unglamorous. No, the “pier of fear” (as it’ll surely be dubbed) is never going to become an iconic element of the show. But people trumpeting their own ideas and talking rubbish – that’ll do me.

Best of all, you can watch the whole thing again courtesy of ITV1′s BBC baiting watch-on-demand service (which is really great) at: www.tycoon.com.

Do tell me what you thought of the show. Meantime, I’m off to see if anyone wants to Fruka.

That new series line-up in full, then (to save you clicking the hyperlink): Peter Jones, Deborah Meaden, Theo Paphitis, Duncan Bannatyne and new boy James Cann – founder and CEO of private equity firm Hamilton Bradshaw, should that mean anything to you – who’s replacing outgoing Australian “super” investor Richard Farleigh.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve brushed up against a few folk from DD‘s BAFTA-nabbing rival, The Apprentice. On each occasion – for some wilful reason – I’ve asked them what they think of the show. 

“I’m not a fan of Dragon’s Den. I can’t see where the business element is, because you can go to the bank and get £100 grand without giving away part of your equity. I think it’s a very good PR exercise for people, though.” 2006 Runner-up Ruth “The” Badger, there. 

And, ho! Who’s this? Why, it’s business bad boy and fellow ejectee Syed Ahmed: “I hate Dragons’ Den. The whole thing is flawed. You get people on there with fantastic ideas, and even if the product’s good, the Dragons take the Mickey out of it. They don’t treat people with respect. All the Dragons are just wannabe TV stars. Duncan Bannatyne – his teeth! They can’t be real!”

Thankfully, the boss has a different point-of-view. “I love Dragons’ Den,” says Sir Alan Sugar. “I think it’s wonderful. Wonderful! Great programme, Dragons’ Den, really do enjoy it. I’ve watched every single one of them. It’s another reality programme, if you like, but there’s a real meaning to it. You do see some real-life business experiences. I think it’s fantastic. Really brilliant.”

Drop dead shrewd, that man.

I couldn’t really blame the imaginative-but-hopeless “ambient advertising” man having a pop back at Theo for the “pins in eyes” comment, but what was funny was the way Rachel Elnaugh dismissed him and his ilk as “that’s what they’re like”, when she’s by far the most rude and charmless of the Dragons. I hope we’re not on the way to contestants having to grovel and having Peter Jones check if they’ve cleaned their shoes that morning.

It’s still just great though, I loved Doug dismissing the pointlessly elaborate dogshit (don’t you hate the word pooper?) scoop as a “Ghostbusters device”. And the sight of someone climbing the stairs, bearing some intriguing contraption, is a brilliantly iconic TV device.

It’s been something of an irritant that in an effort to “tidy up” the show for its second series, the programme-makers have slightly reformatted it so – up until last night – the final proposal in each episode was always the one that elicited the cash. It meant that for the viewer, the play-along aspect of trying to second guess the Dragons’ reaction was out of the window … we now knew it was only the entrepreneur who showed up at 8.45pm who was going to get the money.

In light of last night’s rubbish second showing for the Baby Dream Machine sweats, here’s hoping next week sees the first bloke out of the trap enjoying success.

Aside from this grumble, the show is still the TV highlight of the week. Theo reeks of shyster-dom, and is a great replacement for the dandy Simon Woodroffe, while Peter’s huge aversion to shit seems to be making itself known in different ways every week. Doug has a brilliant capacity for being hugely offended at poorly thought through pitches, Rachel is constantly faced with the spectre of Red Letter Days whenever she gets into competition with any of the others and Duncan proves to be wonderfully brusque when he’s had enough of someone: “Thank you! Goodbye!”

All that, plus the “keep cooking” stuff from last night was class.