BBC3 has always had an appalling press, but I’ve always been a fan of it because I think a lot of its programmes are very good (great to see Man Stroke Woman back) and it does something different to its rivals. However, one area in which it’s always been appalling is… its dreadful continuity announcers.

Every single programme on BBC3 gets off to a thoroughly miserable start thanks to this lot, each one essaying the same excruciatingly unfunny combination of hyperbole and chumminess. So EastEnders is always “Easties”, football is always “the footy” and your average link is something like, “In an hour we’ll be doing that Little Britain thang – I’m a laydee!!!! – but now it’s lovely Jack Harkness in super spooky Torchwood!” That sort of thing. They also appear to know absolutely nothing about any programme they introduce.

The reason I mention it now is because this week has seen surely the worst continuity announcement of all time. BBC3 announcer Keiron Elliott – the former Wish You Were Here …? host turned Challenge TV linkman – was required to come in over the end credits of Family Guy on Tuesday to remind viewers that another episode would follow immediately. Keiron therefore said …

“More Family Guy next, because it’s a double bill – uuuuuuuuhh!!”

So, we’ve now reached the stage where BBC announcers are doing “spaz” voices to keep us watching. Presumably these announcements will get ever more insulting, demanding we stay tuned, and we can look forward to Keiron announcing, “Now it’s the EastEnders repeat which you missed earlier, you dozy git” or “Now here’s a show by and for a bunch of wankers, Two Pints of Lager.”

But you know, if you can’t think of anything funny to say, “More Family Guy in a moment” would suffice.