Hocus-pocus, diplodocus

So there’s this “renowned evolutionary scientist”, Nick Cutter, and some years ago his wife – Helen – disappeared while exploring reports of a strange, giant beast in the Forest of Dean. Now it transpires she stepped through what everyone’s seemingly calling an “anomaly” and found herself transported back in time to prehistoric Earth. Is she still alive? Well, when Nick makes the same journey, he recovers her camera (we know it’s her’s, it has her initials on it – and then Nick says it is). Returning to the present day, said snaps are developed to reveal… two shots of glamour-Helen pouting at the camera, showing off the prehistoric hills behind her.

This was my favourite bit from episode one of Primeval, ITV1′s dino-infested Doctor Who beater. I laughed. The press launch for the show was this morning, and really, the series is not very good. FX-wise, yeah, it’s okay, although all the creatures look like huge novelty pencil rubbers come to life. Plot and characterisation? Oh dear. Square-jawed blokes, weasely man from the ministry, kooky “girl” scientist … and Godzooky. It’s got the lot.

The worst thing, though, is that because it’s aimed squarely at a family audience, we don’t get to see the dinosaurs do anything dinosaur-y. No ripping of flesh, just knocking people over and running off.

But you know what, if it does go out between the two episodes of Dancing on Ice, I think it might just work.

The show is set to hit our screens on Saturday nights in February, ITV1.